Always Powerless
by LambdaBern
Summary: Takes place during Yakusamashi-hen. Satoko's thoughts before she heads back to the village after falling off of the bridge. SatoRika hints.


Powerless.

The word ringed inside her brain over and over again, and it was painful.

She was powerless to save Rika.

As half her body laid on the boulder, other half still in the stream and her head bleeding, she felt numb.

She wondered why she was still alive. How did that fall from the bridge not kill her? Why did she have to be alive?

She didn't deserve to be alive.

Rika had told her to stay hidden and to not come out until it was safe.

Satoko obeyed her best friend's wishes, but that should not have been what she did.

She should have forced her in the hiding spot with her.

Why wouldn't Rika hide with her anyway, just why?

Satoko only cried as the men put her friend to sleep and took her away.

She winced at the memory of her best friend bloody and gutted like a fish. Her dead eyes staring at her. It made her want to scream again.

Maybe she wasn't powerless. She could have done something, she could have done more...she could have saved Rika.

She didn't try hard enough at all...and now Rika was dead.

Looking back at it now, she shouldn't have run from the men. She should have let them kill her. She should have died with her best friend.

Maybe her body would have been thrown next to Rika's mangled body.

Her smile was gone forever. Her once beautiful eyes were dead and dull. Her hair was covered in blood, everything was covered in blood, everything...

How could anyone ever do what they did to her?

Satoko would never be able to get the sight out out of her mind. The crows eating out of her best friend's open, bloody stomach.

Satoko thought back to Rika's last words...

''It's okay. We'll meet again soon.''

Yes. Satoko wanted to meet with her again...she wanted to be together with Rika again...

Maybe in the next world. But the next world doesn't exist. This is it. She will never see Rika again.

But if only a next world existed, but this time this wouldn't happen. Nothing like this would ever happen. They'd be together forever, happy and smiling together.

It could have been like that in this world. But Satoko had failed to keep this world happy and peaceful. She had failed to save the one she loved so much.

She had failed Rika, and after all she had done for her.

Satoko always failed everyone in her life. Her nii-nii and parents. All of her friends, especially Rika. Especially Rika...

This wasn't the first time she failed Rika though. In the past she had also been a coward (but she was always a coward, always).

She ruined the stupid statue in stupid storage she stupidly went into when she shouldn't have. Why did she ever do that...?

Rika's father thought Rika broke it and beat her.

And Satoko was too damn afraid to confess. She watched as her friend was beaten, just cowering in fear. She should have told him it was her, it's not like he could have beat her right?

But knowing her luck, he wouldn't have believed her and just kept beating Rika. But still, she never knew if that would have been what happened. She should still have stood up for Rika no matter what.

And that's when the entire world started to go insane...

She failed Rika before, but this was the ultimate failure.

And Rika wasn't coming back. And neither was nii-nii. Or her parents. The rest of her friends wouldn't want her now.

She was weak and a failure, that's what she had always been.

Satoko thought about just staying there till she starved or the birds at her. She just wanted to die. She didn't want to move or do anything. Part of her didn't care if Rika or nii-nii would be disappointed in her. She had nothing left now.

But...

She had to go back to the village...

She had to tell someone...what happened to her and to Rika.

She had to make sure those men were punished. She had to do that at least, even if it was the last thing she ever did...

She pulled her soaked body out of the stream, wiping some blood off her forehead. It continued to bleed so it was pointless.

It was hard to move, she had cuts and scraps everywhere and it stinged. She was close enough to death already. But at least she was still alive, unlike Rika now, and maybe even nii-nii.

At the very least, she had to accomplish this final mission. Then...she could let herself give up and die.

* * *

><p>She<p>

failed

her

last

mission.

Everyone

was

dead.

Keiichi-san.

Rena-san and Mion-san too.

Even old cruel Oryou.

All of her classmates.

The whole village.

She failed. She failed. Who could she tell now?

She screamed, holding onto her head and collapsing to the ground.

No, no, no...I can't...do it anymore...I can't go through this anymore...

Everyone I love is dead...why not me instead of them?! Why not me too?!

She felt completely broken, she couldn't think.

Satoko thought she heard vague shouting.

''Are...alright? Can you...us? You're...going...fine...do...you...hear...''

But she didn't care and it didnt matter. She didnt care about those people shouting to her.

She just wanted it to end. She just wanted to die with the rest of them already.

The curse had to get her now, no one was left.

Her vision slowly went black, but she heard someone talking more clearly.

''I'm...rry.''

''...s..rry...''

''I'm sorry...''

The last thought Satoko had was that the apologizing was not from the men in masks trying to help her up.

Then...who...?

* * *

><p>She had a dream. A blissful dream. Rika was there, looking at her with a slightly sad look. But she held out her hand.<p>

''We'll meet again in the next world.''

Satoko grabbed her hand and a blinding light hit the two of them.

''C'mon Satoko, let's go to the next world.''

A dream...one last...happy...dream...


End file.
